I once overheard a group of young Govies engaged in deep conversation. One said "I really wish there was some place in this dank, urine soaked pit of despair where I could get easy access to thought-provoking literature such as harlequin romance novels and reject pornography from the 1980s." Of course, having no tact or respect for their privacy, I immediately elbowed my way in and told them to get on over to Ray's Music and Newsstand, conveniently located next to the ever popular Rose's department store. The one old guy that's always there, who I presume is Ray, is always smoking, and thoughtfully assumes that everyone that comes in is 18 ;-). [Editor's note: that emoticon is gayer than gay. I left it in to shame the author and his family.]
Once inside and through the protective smoke cloud, feel free to browse the music section if you're in the market for some overpriced CDs. Otherwise, if you know how to use BitTorrent, head straight to the back. There you will find hilarious romance novels and awesome action packed books steeped in Cold War anti-Soviet rhetoric that may or may not be stolen. Also, make sure to slyly cruise through the cheap and outdated porno section, but remember: Ray's isn't a library, so there's no try before you buy policy. On your way back towards the front, pause to thumb through the dozens of Marijuana related magazines (and you thought High Times was the only one), and laugh at the 1985 Fleer NFL Trading Cards that never sold.
As you exit, note the disappointment on "Ray's" face that more people came in and didn't buy a single thing.
Submitted by George.